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Feedback from those in recovery and
mental health providers
Those in or striving for recovery often work with mental health professionals:
psychologists, social workers, therapists, case managers and others. While
these individuals may be well meaning they often say and do things that are
barriers to our recovery rather than benefits. We interviewed multiple
recovering individuals generating a list of tips for the “helpers”. Not all
providers need this list but if your role is working with others who are in or
striving for recovery please read this. In fact, don’t just read it, take it to
heart. If your goal is partnering with an individual to attain or maintain
recovery be sure you are a benefit and not a barrier.
Please scroll to the bottom of this
page for links to: Recovery
Models, Recovery
Definitions,
Barriers to Recovery,
Recovery Tools,
and
International Recovery Awareness pages.
If you only knew what we are
thinking...
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Tell me
what I can expect from you – before you tell me what you expect of me.
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Give me
some tools to help me live my life.
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My mother
isn’t here so let’s not talk about her let’s talk about how I get out of bed
tomorrow.
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If I see
you starting to snooze I’m out of here.
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Don’t yell
at me if I don’t tell you everything immediately – give me the benefit of
the doubt.
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Trust that
I know my symptoms and my body.
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Don’t use
the word “appropriate” – just what the heck IS appropriate and by who’s
definition? Skip inappropriate too.
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Review my
case BEFORE I walk in the room the next time – it’s not doing much for my
state of mind to have you confuse me with someone else.
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If you
can’t meet help me meet my needs then refer me to someone who can.
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Don’t
judge me by the last person with my diagnosis – all borderlines are not the
same and we don’t all end up homeless!
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If you
give me “homework” make sure you want to see it and use it at the next
session. If you’re not going to do that don’t give me “homework”. In fact,
don’t call it “homework” I didn’t do it in school why would I do it now?
How about practice strategies.
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Don’t hold
my case file against me. If I have a case file don’t ask me to start How do
I set goals and how to I achieve them?
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Be real -
don’t be too therapeutic – I’m real I just get in more trouble because of
it.
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Give me
what I need not what you want. It’s not about you.
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Respect
and kindness are always welcome – caring never hurts either.
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Don’t get
mad if I don’t follow your suggestions – I’m doing the best I can!
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Try not to
take it personally if I don’t like you but I can’t work with someone I
don’t like.
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Don’t make
me come in if we can do this over the phone. Sometimes it’s just a voice
contact that’s needed – sorry it doesn’t pay as well.
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Don’t
prescribe what I can’t afford. If it’s meds or food I’ll eat.
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If I don’t
fit a diagnosis – don’t just put me in popular category.
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Don’t
diagnose me based on my family history.
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Don’t just
repeat what I say or use “How does that make you feel?”
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Don’t hold
a prescription over my head. You don’t withhold nitroglycerine from cardiac
patients who don’t “follow the rules” why do you to it to me?
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I’m
substance abusing to treat my symptoms give me something then I’ll quit.
What Some Therapists Tell Their Clients
Recovering individuals who are genuinely partnering with their therapist or
mental health provider can engage in behaviors that are barriers to their
success. We interviewed psychologists, social workers, and other mental health
professionals to get tips on how those with mental illness can get the most out
of the “help” they receive. If you’re in or working toward recovery, see how to
make the most of your mental health partnership by reviewing what these
individuals said about the therapist-client relationship.
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Here’s what you can expect from me: I’ll be on time to every
one of your sessions and will come prepared based on our last session. I’ll
expect you to do the same.
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I will follow through on what I tell you I will do. If I
don’t please call me on it!
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If your appointment is Tuesday at 2:00 PM – there will be no
one more important to me than you from 2:00 PM until 2:50 PM.
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I end my appointments promptly at 10 minutes before the hour
so I have time to write down the important points – I also have to get ready
for the next person – just like I got ready for you.
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If I am working harder on your problems I’ll stop. I don’t
have the problems you do. It will take a lot of work on your part to get
deal with whatever brought you here.
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My job isn’t to judge you but to partner with you so you can
be successful.
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You’ll set goals – we can partner on what they are and what
strategies to achieve them – however what works won’t necessarily be what
you like.
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The point of the whole thing is to be able to live in the
world and behave as though you don’t have a Mental Illness. People only
know our histories by how we act don’t act crazy and no one will think you
are.
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Mental Illness is about a brain disease not
your childhood.
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I’ll treat you with respect – so I will tell you things you
want to hear but also things you don’t want to hear – remember it’s my job
and why you came here in the first place.
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If you no show on me and I’m in private practice I’ll charge
you – if I’m in Community Mental Health (CMH) I won’t see you if you no show on me
two times in a row. CMH has to see you but I don’t. It’s a respect thing
for you and me.
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I’ll partner or refer you to others who can help you or
partner with you to meet needs that I can’t – but you have to tell me or I
won’t know.
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If you can’t come to a session I know stuff happens – call me
– maybe someone else wants to take your spot.
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If you call me I will call you back. If I’m out of town I’ll
let you know and provide a number of someone who will call you back in my
absence.
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There are side effects to taking meds – there are also side
effects for not taking them.
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